Tuesday, 31 May 2016

Shaken, Rattled and Rolled: From Auckland to Reykjavík in 3 easy moves.





Grant’s story begins properly in January 1995 while he’s sitting on the side of stage next to Billy Duffy’s guitar tech as Ian Astbury and the rest of The Cult shake their collective money-makers in front of 40,000 people on a hot day in Sydney, Australia. In the midst of a distinguished six year stint on the road that included meeting Jeff Buckley and getting stoned with Evan Dando on a rooftop in Christchurch he would come to realise that you can do pretty much whatever you want with your life if you’re prepared to put in the hard yards. On that summer’s day long ago along with Ian Astbury and Billy Duffy there was also Mark Lanegan, Al Jourgensen and Bobby Gillespie on hand to inspire Grant with their free-spirited and wholehearted approach to life. You can read whatever you want into that. We all know what those guys are about.
Jump forward fifteen years and for his sins Grant finds himself living in Belfast, Northern Ireland. We can only assume that his sins were extremely serious and that hell was never going to be good enough for him. The sudden death of a dear friend back in New Zealand brought about the realisation that life can end any time it feels like it and that the time to do what you really want to do with your life is now. It’s always been now but in this painful instance the word hit home with a new and pressing urgency. So it was finally time to stop fucking around and write that book that he’d always wanted to write.

So now we jump forward one more time to the here and now and not only is Grant living in Iceland - the land of the midnight sun, 24 hour party elves and cartons of milk covered in magic mushroom eating Yule Lads - but he’s put his head down, done the hard yards and published a novel and a novella. ‘On A Small Island’ and ‘The Mistake’ have made quite a name for themselves in the world of Iceland Noir and he’s just about to publish his third book ‘A Place To Bury Strangers’ with Fahrenheit Press. It’s beginning to look a lot like he was right all along.

Sunday, 15 May 2016

A homage to our friends in Finland - especially Finland Män.






Finland Män is like tis.

When weik up in mornink, Finland Män först tink öpaut kross näshional produkt. Must wörk lot. Pefore die, häv tu pay haus to pänk. Pänk take 50 prosent ov Finland Män säläry. Kovörment täx ofis take 60 prosent. Must wörk more.

Finland Män is like tis.

When ket out ov ped, Finland Män kou tu kitshön. Trink kofi. Tsek eemails. Eat one moose. If inaf time, say helou to Womän ät home. Not shou emousshiöns. Then Finland Män kou tu wörk.

Finland Män is like tis.

When trive out ov karaash, Finland Män look at neipörs kar. If neipörs kar smaller, Finland Män smile. If neipörs kar pikkör, Finland Män not shou emousshiöns.

Finland Män is like tis.

When ket tu wörk, Finland Män nevö stop. When Finland Män wos littel tshild, not ket milk from Mothör. Ket protestant etik. When Finland Män häv own fiuneral, then daunshift.

Finland Män is like tis.

When 12 o klok, Finland Män häv luntsh. Eat one moose. Eat älone. Not spiik tu änipadi. If waitter smile, Finland Män tink: why I luk funny? Not shou emousshiöns. Tsek eemails.

Finland Män is like tis.

When Fraiday, Finland Män kou tu trink piör with othör Finland Män. Not spiik. When trink tuu matsh piör änd pottel ov votka, say tu othör Finland Män: “You my pest frend.” Then kou tu karaoke. Sing säd song. This häpi moument.

Finland Män is like tis.

When young, kou tu one parti. Late evenink kou tu spiik Womän. If laki, Womän spiik too. Then puild home. Eat moose tukethör.

Finland Män is like tis.

When Satördei, Finland Män kou tu sauna. Trow sevön pakets ov watör on roks. Äfter sauna häv äpointment in pedroom with Womän. Not shou emousshiöns.

Finland Män is like tis.

When Womän ät home äsk öpaut love, Finland Män not änswör. Finland Män say: tis we olredi talk on thö altar. Not shou emousshiöns.

Finland Män is like tis.

When Womän ät home want divorss änd leave Finland Män, Finland Män sörprised. Not shou emousshiöns. Finland Män kou tu forest änd talk tu tree. Then eat moose älone. Tsek eemails.

Finland Män is like tis.

When holiday, Finland Män trive kar tu lake. Finland Män is petter triver thän evripadi. Finland Män trive kantri road fäst. If kams moose, tuu päd. Moose die. Finland Män eat.

Finland män is like tis.

When with othör piippul, Finland Män want tu be älone. When älone, Finland Män äsk himself, why nopodi like me? Eat one moose. Tsek eemails.

Finland Män is like tis.

When olmost retire, Finland Män häv hart ätäk. Not tel enipadi, pekoos is shame. Tsek eemails. Then die. Tis wos Finland Män.